Dirty Secrets
by Jelp
Summary: Everyone has dirty secrets. Especially Sasuke. Naru/Sasu
1. Part 1

This story will have some slight shota, male X male, as well as what could be considered disturbing imagery.

I do want to clarify the filters. For those who understandably don't like reading about older/younger slash, the shota warning is because of Sasuke doing some young experimentation (solo only) with his body. I know that's a big difference with some people; it's "okay" if it's by himself, but not if he's getting molested. He's not doing it to be sexual, but just in case, please don't read this if you're not comfortable with a kid probing their privates due to curiosity.

Also, the disturbing imagery part is due to some rather gross intestine problems – if hearing about gross life problems bothers you, this is not for you, so please do not read it! If you're still here, then enjoy!

This is as gift fic for Cereal – hope you like it!

**Dirty Secrets**

**Part I: One Secret Leads to Another and Then Another…**

Since the time he was little, Sasuke had carried around a dirty, dark secret. He couldn't remember a time that he hadn't kept the secret close to him, burying it deep inside himself that sometimes he even forgot it had ever happened.

It had started when he was young, perhaps six, maybe younger. The time frame was hazy, but the timing honestly didn't really mean much to the now twenty-five year old businessman. The fact of the matter was that he didn't want anyone to know about his secret, especially not how it had started out, nor the other secrets that had followed.

It was a secret that didn't really matter to anyone but himself. Something slightly embarrassing but something that Sasuke regarded as the catalyst to more pleasant yet even deeper guarded secrets.

Usually he didn't think about the fact that it was a secret. He had long ago taken measures to keep his secrets well guarded, and it was only due to today's unexpected surprises that kept him thinking of his past.

Sighing to himself, Sasuke looked back at the computer screen in front of him. The screen glowed brightly in his dark office. Most of his fellow workers had left at 5:00. Now, three hours later, Sasuke sat in his office, attempting (and failing) to finish up a report. The Suzuki file really should have been finished by this morning, but that had all been shot to hell when his boss – who doubled as his infuriating older brother – had made him attend a meeting with an old high-school "acquaintance."

He rubbed his eyes. Mundane memories had been distracting him all day, more so than usual. Sasuke leaned back, his chair bouncing slightly to allow for the shift in movement while his brain muddled over the words on the screen in front of him.

It was no use. He couldn't focus. His mind kept getting distracted because of the meeting he'd had earlier in the day, the meeting that caused his mind to keep flashing back to his youth.

During his high-school years he had been seen as cool, aloof, and almost unreachable to the female population. Girls had flocked to him, shallow as it was, due to his good looks, his mysterious nature, and the fact that he came from a rich family (which certainly helped his appeal). He'd been approached so many times over the years by the opposite gender to engage in sexual acts but each time he refused.

When he'd been younger, there were certain things that he hadn't been comfortable about with his body, and entrusting them to just about anyone other than himself was not something Sasuke could do. It didn't help that Sasuke was a "late bloomer" as it was. Oh, he had bloomed in most areas: his voice had deepened by the time he was barely eleven, the usual hassle of having to deal with hair coming up in strange, developing areas had also hit young, and his intellectual maturity developed long before most.

Yet it was the desire to be sexually active, even experimenting with his body, which had come late. Most of it had to do with Sasuke's own issues with his body and the way it had "betrayed" him when he was younger. The dirty secret that he held was due to something that had happened in his childhood, something that had made him – unknowingly – unsure of his own body. Of course, Sasuke had only recently admitted that he had been slightly awkward as a teenager. He could psychologically analyze that his childhood issue had caused him to put off self-experimenting till later. Now that he was no longer awkward, he could look back on the follies of his youth and scoff at them. At the time, he refused to acknowledge anything about himself as less than perfect.

Such secrets could be seen as imperfection. Thus they were pushed into the darkest recess of his mind, so hidden that he didn't even remember them most of the time.

Of course he knew many others who shared at least one of his secrets. After all, plenty of guys liked taking it up the ass. The other part of his secret was not necessarily shameful, but more...complicated.

No, what had always fueled Sasuke's secretive nature about his preferences was the humiliation of how he had _discovered_ said pleasures. He enjoyed having his ass filled, along with a few specific fantasies. But as he had issues with how he'd come to terms with his sexuality, sometimes his mind still refused to process its own carnal desires.

The catalyst had ended with him blindly stumbling upon his own fantasies. A dirty, humiliating secret that had eventually (after several years in fact) led to a deeper, more gratifying secret pleasure.

Sasuke didn't remember the exact age (though likely five or six) when the first spark started the chain of events to his secrets, but he remembered with vivid clarity the situation…

* * *

It had started off as a small irritation. Sasuke had been sitting on the couch watching a video. He had been so excited that he had been allowed to watch his favorite movie on the big screen TV. Usually he had to watch movies by himself in his room on his small TV. But since Itachi was away at a friend's, and he wasn't using the big TV to play his videogames (or to complain about Sasuke's immature and kiddy movies), Sasuke had gotten the chance to watch a movie.

He'd been sitting on the couch, watching the screen intently, when he started to get uncomfortable. Young boys often squirmed in their seats out of boredom. Sasuke knew better than that. His father would scold him if he squirmed around too much. But Sasuke couldn't help it. He wasn't even bored either! It was just his bottom itched really, _really_ badly. He was grateful his parents weren't watching the movie with him. He was sure his mom would have told him to sit still by now.

Something...something was tickling him. It was itching him. He shifted in his seat, rubbing his bottom along the cushion of the couch, trying to itch away the irritation. It was so annoying! It wouldn't stop. Sasuke whimpered when the tickling started to get worse. His bottom felt really weird, like he had to sit on the toilet. Maybe that was it?

Pausing the movie, Sasuke went into the bathroom to sit on the toilet. He sat there for a while waiting for something to come out but nothing did. Still, it irritated him. He rocked back and forth on the toilet seat, but it did nothing to alleviate the itch and tickles in such a weird spot. Taking a wad of toilet paper, he wiped himself. It momentarily made him feel better. Sasuke flushed the toilet, washed his hands, and went back out to watch the movie.

After he pushed play and had watched the movie for another few minutes, the tickling started up again. It was so annoying! Sasuke clenched his muscles together, holding his hands firmly on his legs, willing for the annoyance to disappear. He finished watching the movie, agonizing over the tickling from his bottom that wouldn't stop. He hadn't been able to enjoy the movie because of the way the tickling had bothered him so much!

Sasuke whimpered at the annoyance and scratched his bottom through his pants. It was really itchy! But he didn't want anyone to see him scratching himself there, so he did his best to ignore it the rest of the afternoon.

That night when Sasuke got into the shower, he scratched himself pretty good, and it felt so much better. He thought it would be fine at last! But when he got into bed, it was the worst it had been all day. He squirmed around a bit, slipped his fingers beneath his pajama bottoms, scratched and scratched, and finally when the tickling stopped, he was able to go to sleep.

It was the same for a few weeks. The tickling, the squirming, the itchiness. It got to the point that Sasuke was thinking about saying something to his mom, but it was really embarrassing. He felt like he had done something wrong and didn't want to say anything in case his mom got mad at him. Instead, he continued to itch himself when no one was looking, hoping it would stop.

One night when he was in the shower, he itched himself as he had been. But this time when he itched he actually felt something. Sasuke froze.

The tickling sensation that had been on his bottom was suddenly transferred to his finger. Slowly, he moved from out of the spray of the shower to look at his hand.

A thin, white thing that looked like a tiny worm wriggled on his finger. Sasuke's eyes widened in horror as he flicked his finger under the water to get the wormy thing off. He felt it leave his finger, and Sasuke stepped backward, watching the spray of the water as it swirled around the drain. He pushed his small foot against the bottom of the shower stall, just in case the worm was still there. Bending over, Sasuke peered down toward the drain, looking to see if he could see the white worm as it went down the drain.

The spray of the shower hid anything that might be going down the drain with the water. Sasuke scraped his foot along the bottom of the shower again, pushing the water and anything else that might be there toward the drain to float away. Sasuke quickly grabbed some soap and washed his hands, feeling grossed out.

A worm had been in his butt! No wonder it had tickled so much! He shuddered thinking of why a worm would be there of all gross places.

But after the initial shock wore off, Sasuke realized something pretty awful...

His bottom still tickled. A cold feeling went through him at the possibility of more worms being there. Still...he had to check. Shaking as he did so, Sasuke scraped his finger along the hole on his bottom where the white worm had come from. He didn't feel anything there, but he had a feeling more might be _inside_ the hole. Feeling glad no one knew what he was doing, Sasuke pushed his finger into the hole. It was wet and funky feeling. The skin around the hole on the inside felt like a moist cushion was wrapping around his finger – but at the same time he could feel something else – something wriggling. And it felt like a lot of them. Not knowing what else to do, Sasuke scraped his finger along the inside of the hole and pulled. He could feel the wiggling little white worms on his fingers, and he quickly put his hand under the spray of the shower and rinsed them off. He could feel more tickling and scraped his finger inside his hole a few more times.

Even though it felt like most of the wriggling had stopped, Sasuke stuck his finger up the hole again, plunging in deeper, making sure he had gotten all of them. He had. He quickly removed is finger and used a lot of soap to wash off his hands.

That night, the itchiness went away. He felt so relieved but so embarrassed that he had become a home for little white worms.

He was just glad that they were gone.

Or so he thought.

At the time Sasuke had no idea what was going on inside his body.

Over the period of a year Sasuke had problems with the little wriggling worms. He was too embarrassed to say anything to his mother. It was a dirty, dark secret that he couldn't let anyone know about.

The irritations came and went. It wasn't every day, but it seemed to happen mostly around nighttime, so he could make sure that he just got a shower and got rid of anything there.

His exact memories of it were a bit hazy. It was something that he tried to block out as much as possible. Eventually the problem went away. He grew older and the trauma of having those little white worms inside him was pushed from his mind.

It wasn't until he was seventeen that he finally figured out what had happened with his body.

He remembered what had sparked him to look into the case of the squirming white worms – which had then led him into a deeper realm of investigation into _other_ areas of interest.

Health classes are notorious for the different subjects that kids talk about. The sex talk being the foremost. It was something that most every teenager got exposed to – something that every teenager _wanted_ to know more about whether it be simple curiosity, embarrassment over a changing body, or the simple desire to want to know more to become sexually active – or to refine the skills of an already sexually active lifestyle.

In Sasuke's case, it had been simple curiosity, a conversation that had been embarrassing to listen to, but he couldn't help hearing it and getting intrigued.

Sasuke's seat was towards the front of the class. He had gotten to choose his seat, and he preferred to sit up in the front unlike most people who preferred finding a seat in the back. In the front the teacher was right there, so if another student _dared_ talk to him, the teacher was right there to reprimand the other student. Sasuke had found that while he was quite capable of fending off the female populace, it was so much nicer when someone else did the work for him, which reduced his interaction with fangirls to the bare minimum.

Perhaps it should have been an indicator to Sasuke then that he found it better to fend off females than to engage them, hording their attention like the rest of the boys he knew.

He'd had several "girlfriends," but they never lasted long. They always wanted a far more intimate and deeply emotional relationship. Sasuke couldn't take any of the girls seriously enough to give them that kind of attention.

The teacher had finished her lesson of the day, spending the rest of the period grading papers and leaving the teenagers a free five minutes to "pack-up" or to sit and chat quietly. Sasuke had a book in front of him. Not that it always deterred the other students from talking to him, but the two main offenders who usually bothered him in this particular class had (wisely) finally moved on. However, it was these two girls' strange conversation that currently had him sitting straighter in his seat, eaves-dropping on their gossip.

"I don't believe it!" the one with pink hair, Sakura said. She was currently sitting next to her best friend/rival, Ino, and they were "whispering" so loudly it was impressive that the teacher hadn't said anything to them yet.

"I told you that you wouldn't believe me!" Ino said, all but shrieking indignantly.

"It's just..._Hinata_!" Sakura breathed, sounding beyond scandalized.

"I know! But you know she's been crushing on him for ages. It wasn't like she was going to say no after he offered. I just feel bad that she didn't wait until they were exclusive. She was the classic type right after her bad breakup with Kiba."

"Yes, but doesn't it make you wonder? Even since TenTen let slip how good of a lay he was, it's like every single girl who's ever had sex before and has just broken up with her boyfriend is going to him! I hear he ONLY sleeps with girls on the rebound from a bad breakup: that he helps them forget their old lover."

"Ami let slip that he's slept with seven of the cheerleaders! Apparently a bunch of them just broke up with their boyfriends, and he helped them forget. Can you believe that? Cheerleaders going to him to forget! They say he's so fantastic that it's worth the one time of sex, even knowing he won't stay with them. Wishing you hadn't turned the stud down now?" Ino asked Sakura.

"Honestly? _Hell yeah_! I'm so curious! All the girls he's been with can't get enough of him, but yet he's not picking just one girl. I can't tell if that's a good thing or a bad thing. I want to, you know, see what all the talk is about, but not if Naruto's sleeping with so many other girls."

Sasuke felt his body tense as a strange shock went through him.

Naruto. Uzumaki Naruto. Class clown. Immature. Weird. Unpopular. Turned down by almost every girl who he asked out last year. Suddenly a Casanova where every girl wants to sleep with him? Had he heard correctly?

Everyone knew Naruto. He was a loud mouth that you couldn't ignore. Sasuke knew from firsthand experience having tried. The best he could manage was to pretend that he didn't notice the other male. Thankfully he had limited contact with Naruto.

Naruto and Sasuke had actually gotten off on the wrong foot the first time they met the year previously. There had been something about Naruto that had rubbed him the wrong way. Naruto was so – distracting. So distracting in fact that when he'd complained about it at home, his mother had been so concerned that she switched his class schedule for him. It was a bit of an embarrassing fact that his mother had changed his schedule due to a minor irritation from another classmate.

Even though no one other than himself knew why his schedule had changed, the mere thought that his mother had thought he needed to be babied had made him hate Naruto all the more. He'd gotten into a fight with Naruto just to prove that Naruto didn't bother him that much and that he could physically take care of his own problems. Sadly, it backfired when Itachi then beat the shit out of him for making their mother cry when her baby boy got into a fight and in trouble at school. Itachi had literally pounded some sense in his head, making him realize fighting wasn't the way to solve his problems.

Not to mention it bothered him that _Itachi_ had then had the stuck-up audacity to tell him to make friends with Naruto. He usually took Itachi's advice as his brother was a genius. However, just from the fact that Naruto rubbed him the wrong way, Sasuke decided he couldn't be friends with the blond. He settled for pretending Naruto didn't exist, though Sasuke always found himself hyper aware when Naruto was near him. Even so, for whatever reason, ignoring Naruto seemed to bother Naruto a lot. Not that Sasuke gave a shit.

Naruto had initially made verbal jibes at him to get him into another fight. When that had failed, Naruto seemed so put out that Sasuke was ignoring him that Naruto had then tried to be _nice_ to him, inviting him over to his house or out to parties. Sasuke had refused, harshly.

Since then Sasuke had had very little interaction with the other male, but he had heard a lot of strange things about him. Naruto as the school's Casanova was by far the strangest.

As usual, anything he heard about Naruto rubbed him the wrong way. The fact that Naruto was now seen as some sort of sex god was a blow to Sasuke's ego. Sasuke had never had sex. To think that Naruto had and was apparently really good at it made Sasuke strangely jealous.

"Would you really do..._it_ though?" Ino asked in a hushed whisper. Sasuke slowly turned his head and pretended to look out the window, meanwhile watching the two out of the corner of his eye as their conversation finally quieted down to the level it should have started at.

"Have sex?" Sakura asked, blushing red. "You know I have already," Sakura mumbled. She didn't seem too pleased about it. Ino waved her hand around dismissively. "Twice."

Had everyone but Sasuke already had sex?

"Yeah. Bad choice of guys to have sex with though. But that's not what I meant. You hear what he does really well, right?" Ino asked, her voice getting even quieter. Sakura giggled.

"It sounds so naughty," Sakura whispered, but the excitement in her voice was clear.

"Yeah, but even Hinata said she liked it. She wouldn't say it if she didn't, even if it was with her precious Naruto-kun," Ino pressed.

They shared a few more giggles. The two whispered something. Sasuke found himself straining to hear what they said, but their tones just kept getting quieter and quieter. The bell rang, and Sasuke got annoyed at being denied the information. He was sure that if he asked, the girls would tell him.

Of course hell would freeze before he asked the girls what was so special about Naruto's sex ability.

Despite that, Sasuke was curious. For the rest of the day, Sasuke kept his ears open when others chatted near him during class and in the hallways.

It was the first time in a long while that Sasuke listened to the conversations of people around him. He was surprised to find that Ino and Sakura were not the only girls talking about Naruto. It irked him. Usually the girls his age paid attention to him. It wasn't so bad that they weren't trying to pry into his personal life, but the fact that their attentions had shifted from him to Naruto just did not sit well. What was so special about Naruto anyway?

According to the girls he heard whispering by the batch of lockers near his, an excited girl, petite with her hair in a long braid down her back, was able to tell the girls' around her with firsthand experience.

"He was so sweet! I couldn't believe it. So very kind, caring, very good with his mouth and his hands. And oh my goodness! I mean, it was so weird because you know the break up I had with Mitoki? Well Naruto just took me in his arms and told me how beautiful and wonderful I was! Said that he'd make sure to make me forget about the bad sex I'd had with Mitoki..."

"Did he, you know, do that thing?" one of the other girls giggled. The girl with the braid blushed and nodded. Not that Sasuke was paying close attention to her or anything.

"I was so nervous about it at first, but of course I heard about it! That's why, you know, I made sure to let him see me crying by the library so he would be able to comfort me after I told him about Mitoki breaking up with me-"

Sasuke blanched. Were these girls purposefully breaking up with their boyfriends in order to get Naruto into bed with them?

"-weird because who'd have thought -"

Someone passing by laughed loudly, making it hard for Sasuke to hear.

"-ass-"

Another bout of laughter interrupted the girl talking.

"- would feel so good?"

Sasuke did a double take. What? What had she said? What had she just implied? Was Naruto a Casanova at _anal_ sex? Was that what she meant? No way. He must have come to the wrong conclusion.

"So anal sex isn't that bad?" a girl with large, round glasses asked.

Sasuke's fingers gripped his locker tightly, his whole body still as he listened for the answer.

"Not at all! At least, not with the way Naruto does it. I think that's what he's trying to do. Trying to show us girls that if we have a bit of confidence in ourselves the sex can be so much better. I think he focuses on anal sex because it's something that not many others have done, and it's nothing that I can compare to my ex."

"Man," a girl with purple hair in tight curls grumbled. "I've never had bad sex. I hear he only sleeps with girls if they have had bad experiences."

"I think that's why Hinata told Naruto that she'd had sex before. I don't think she and Kiba really did go all the way. She was so desperate to have a go at Naruto. Poor girl. Totally worth the lie though to get some action with Naruto," the girl with the braid said smugly.

Sasuke shut his locker. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. These girls were talking about having sex with Naruto. They didn't care that he was sleeping around with anything that moved, and in fact, rather than getting disgusted, the girls seemed so endeared that he was helping to erase the bad sexual experiences of horrible sex with no strings attached other than to make them feel good about themselves...

Okay, so maybe that did sound strangely nice, except they were all missing the point that Naruto was using his "sweetness" in order to have sex with as many girls as possible!

Why were all the girls so excited about anal sex anyway? Why would a woman who had a vagina like a cock or even fingers up the ass? Who did that?

The memory of Sasuke's own deep, buried childhood secret slapped him in the face.

He used to, technically, finger himself all the time. Sasuke had never thought about it that way before. But it wasn't like he had liked it…had he? He had always been irritated with those...those worm things, but had he actually enjoyed the feeling of having his own finger shoved up his ass?

Part of him wanted to say no. The other part of him wasn't so sure. And he hated being so damned unsure. He shouldered his backpack and left school for the day. His mind unbelieving of Naruto being a Casanova – or the fact that he might like fingering himself.

After he got home from school, instead of doing his homework (as it wasn't due till the next week, as he always did all his homework early), he got on the internet to do a bit of research. Usually he quickly did his homework and then spent the rest of his evening practicing karate. Tonight, he had a feeling he wouldn't get to practice.

He sat with the google page opened in front of him, not sure what to type in. There were so many questions that he was curious about. Why was everyone saying Naruto was such a good lay? Sasuke was sure that if _he_ decided to sleep with someone, everyone would say he was better than that loser.

Another question that bothered him – had he liked the feeling of fingering himself? He couldn't remember. And the curiosity was so strong that he actually wanted to try it again. What held him back was a strange fear of encountering those same worm-like-things that he had faced as a child. Were they still there? What had they been?

Since he wouldn't be able to find the answer as to why everyone had become so enthralled with Naruto, and since he refused to do any experimenting with his own body until he had made sure how to handle his childhood secret, Sasuke typed in "anal worms" and searched. A lot of links appeared.

After clicking through a few pages, looking at a few images, he felt himself relax a little as he was able to pinpoint his childhood dilemma. A few things jumped out at him right away, and he was finally able to give a name to the condition he'd suffered from.

Pinworms. Small, white worms that lived in the small intestine that came to lay eggs around the rectum area. Common in almost 80% of children between the ages of 2-10. The fact that it was more likely that four out of five people had had them knowingly or not at one point or time eased Sasuke's worries completely.

There were a few links that led to how to get rid of them, etc. He was lucky they had gone away on their own, but at the same time grateful to find out that they were one) not that uncommon and two) it hadn't been anything serious to worry about.

As he hadn't had those symptoms in years, he was pretty certain he'd washed the problem away.

He'd had pinworms as a child, something that was apparently very common amongst children during that age group. The one article actually made it sound like more children than not suffered from the same problem, though most never knew it. Even though it was something that still embarrassed him, he was glad that so many others had suffered with his same problem. He was mostly embarrassed with how he had dealt with getting rid of the worms, though he reasoned other children must have gone through the same problem.

The next part to figure out...had he really enjoyed fingering himself? All those girls seemed to enjoy it.

The next google search he did was a bit more intimate, and his eyes widened at the images that popped up when he searched anal sex. Apparently his search engine didn't have any filters on.

It was like a train wreck. He didn't want to see it, but he couldn't stop staring. It wasn't until a knock from his mother interrupted him to let him know that dinner was ready did he stop looking at the pictures with a startled jump. Sasuke hastily closed out of his web browser to prevent his mother from seeing the pictures on the screen.

In the shower that night, Sasuke found himself assaulted with the memory of the images he had seen on the internet. It didn't take long before he was horny, excitedly flushed, soapy, and wet, his arousal bobbing in the shower. It wasn't as though he hadn't jerked off before. He had. But to have something so fresh and exciting to stimulate him when he usually suppressed his desires was new and thrilling. Sasuke, never one to back down from a challenge, began to finger himself.

It felt different than he remembered. For one, it was harder for him to get his finger inside his body. His fingers were longer and thicker now that he was older, and his body wasn't adjusted to the usual intrusion, but he didn't let that stop him.

Once he had relaxed enough, he slowly began to push his finger inside. At first it didn't want to go in, but the more he pushed the easier it slipped inside. He left it there for a moment, letting his body adjust. Slowly he began to move it around, stroking his insides.

One finger alone left him feeling wonderful. Just pulling in and out, stroking himself was somehow familiar yet incredibly new. He was sure when he was younger his cock hadn't pulsed with pleasure when he had fingered himself.

The inside of his body pulsed with heat. His hole, moist from the shower, kept sucking his finger in and out of his body; it opened more than he thought possible as he pressed against his inner walls, feeling the silky skin and raised texture of the sphincter tightening and loosening around his finger.

He gave a short snort of a laugh, realizing he was getting aroused by his own body. His other hand wrapped around his dripping length. The mix of fingering himself and the short jerks brought his orgasm over the edge quicker than any of his previous jerk off sessions.

Sasuke threw his head back, his mouth open, the pleasured cry muffled by the sound of the shower. His chest heaved as he took deep, calming breaths. Finally catching his breath, Sasuke looked down at his hands: one covered in his sperm, the other surprisingly clean from having been stuck up his ass. Either way, he hastily washed off the coating of cum on his hand and anything unpleasant that might be on his other one.

Several things clicked in Sasuke's mind that night. He liked fingering himself. That thought later led to the fact that he might be gay. After all, he didn't like any of the girls in his class. Maybe that was why? Not to mention he'd been aroused watching the anal sex videos from the internet, but the reason he wasn't sure about being gay was because Sasuke had never been attracted to or aroused by anyone – other than himself.

Stepping out of the shower Sasuke looked at himself in the mirror. His body was well sculptured, as it should be from his rigorous karate workouts. He smirked, feeling strangely smug and narcissistic. He liked what he saw in the mirror.

Sasuke came to the conclusion that he was enough for himself. He didn't need anyone else to pleasure his body; he was quite capable of doing so on his own. Bonds and relationships were messy. After all, all those girls had used breaking their bonds to get Naruto. What kind of selfish person used a bond like that? Even Naruto was using it too. They all seemed the same to him. Deciding he liked being self-sufficient, not minding that he needed no one other than himself – male or female – made him feel somehow more smug and secure about his sexuality.

The happenings of the following week, however, shattered that smugness, shaping even more secrets.

**Next Chapter: ****A Secret Attraction

* * *

**

I know, I know. _Another_ new fic. But hey! I've had this one for er, two months now? Already have the second chapter finished, and there will only be about two more chapters after that. And before anyone asks, yes I'm still working on my other fics. I just seem to have been having trouble writing them. I'm just not happy with things. Hence all the new things to try and stimulate the thought process for longer fics.

Anyway, hope you liked it so far! ~ Jelp


	2. Part 2

Narcissistic Sasuke is narcissistic.

**Dirty Secrets**

**Part 2: A Secret Attraction**

Sasuke was going to kill Itachi.

It wasn't the first time he'd thought it, but he was getting very close to actually following through with his thoughts of fratricide.

He sighed, glaring furiously at the new e-mail he'd received. Since the meeting earlier that day he had dreaded getting the damned thing, and now it sat like deadweight in his inbox. Why couldn't Itachi have taken this one? Why was he torturing him by making him do this file?

Itachi had already screwed over his day by making him attend the meeting. Now he was sending him even more work when he couldn't focus in the first place. Not that Sasuke hadn't expected the case after having sat in on the meeting earlier in the day. However, he'd at least hoped he could push the inevitable off for a week – at least.

"_Since you're still here__ –_ " the e-mail had started. If he was still at work it meant he hadn't finished up his workload for the day. Adding more work to his pile wasn't helping anyone out in this situation. Sasuke was sure that Itachi just wanted to torture him. The problem with working in the family business meant his older brother still supervised him and still told him what to do just like he had since childhood.

The fact that Itachi even _knew_ about his history with this client irked Sasuke. Even if Itachi didn't know the full extent of their past, just the little bit he knew should have made him realize giving him this case was a bad idea.

Getting up from his desk, he stalked out of his office to the adjacent one which belonged to Itachi.

"I won't be able to look over the new file tonight," Sasuke said. He crossed his arms as he watched his brother typing away on the computer. Itachi's typing paused as he turned, swiveling in his chair to face his younger brother.

"Finish it by tomorrow then," Itachi clipped. He seemed rather annoyed himself.

"I still haven't finished the Suzuki file. It's taking longer than expected."

"You've had that since this morning. It should have been done before your lunch break. You usually have at least two cases completed by the end of the day. This isn't like you," Itachi accused. Sasuke glared, knowing Itachi would bring that up. Yes, he usually had an average of two cases a day: three if he pushed it. It was why he was so high-up in the company after all. Wasn't he allowed to hit a snag once every few years?

"You know full well the meeting today made my lose focus. I warned you. You didn't even need me there. If you want your workers to work to their maximum capacity, then I suggest actually listening to their heavily weighted suggestions instead of acting like an overly-arrogant asshole! Clearly you know _nothing_." Sasuke clenched his fists. The more he spoke, the angrier he became.

He hadn't wanted to explain that seeing the new client, Uzumaki Naruto, would make him fly off the handle, but he had. He'd swallowed his pride and told Itachi point blank he couldn't do it. And Itachi had written it off.

Sasuke stormed out of Itachi's office, knowing that Itachi had had no idea the full reasons as to why Sasuke hadn't wanted to attend the meeting with a new client. Even so, Sasuke had stated beforehand that it would not be in the best interest of their company for him to sit in on the proceedings. Itachi had scoffed and told him to forget his personal problems and come anyway. Sasuke had.

It had been a horrible mistake.

Slamming his door in frustration, Sasuke walked over to his chair and sat down. He clenched and unclenched his hands. For some reason, yelling at Itachi hadn't made him feel as good as he would have liked. He rarely yelled at his brother in such a petulant manner, and he never did so at work. Thankfully no one else was there to see him ream out at Itachi, even if Itachi's attitude needed to be taken down a notch.

"I will give the file to Hyuuga then," Itachi said as he walked in uninvited. Sasuke didn't look up from his computer. He opened the Suzuki file and began typing away on it, doing his best to forget the earlier meeting. But Itachi mentioning Neji made him think of Hinata who he knew Naruto had fucked. He'd hated Neji on principle for being related to the girl. Sasuke therefore hated it when any of the potentially good files were given to Neji.

The only thing he hated more than Neji getting the good cases was when they'd been pulled from him and given to the long-haired male. Honestly, Neji should cut his hair for a more professional look. With a quick glance at the ponytail Itachi wore, he mentally noted Itachi should do the same.

The only reason Itachi threatened to pull his cases to give to Neji was because he knew it would manipulate Sasuke into doing the case. The one and only time Itachi had given Neji one of Sasuke's files it had increased his hatred of Hyuuga. Neji had smugly landed a breakthrough deal that would have earned Sasuke large bonus points within the company if he had taken the case in the first place. But he had made a complaint, and Itachi had pulled it from him and given it to the other man. Neji never let him live it down, and Itachi never failed to use that against him when he wanted Sasuke to do something.

"I'm sure Neji will do a better job with this file than I could anyway," Sasuke gritted out. Maybe Itachi would really give it to Neji and get the hell off his case. It was the only time he wouldn't mind the stuck up prick doing one of the high-end cases.

"Fine. I'll e-mail it to Hyuuga instead. He looked like he was paying more attention during the meeting than you were," Itachi sneered. It was meant to be degrading. It was, but Sasuke didn't give a damn.

"Good," Sasuke said, meaning it. He felt as though a weight had lifted from his shoulders. If Neji had the case, he wouldn't have to look at Naruto. He relaxed slightly, feeling that now he might be able to finish the Suzuki file in peace. Except Itachi hadn't left yet. Sasuke blatantly ignored Itachi's intense stare and continued to work on his file. Two minutes passed in that way. Sasuke went on working on his file while Itachi watched him. Finally, Itachi spoke.

"You mean it," Itachi said, sounding surprised. Sasuke looked up incredulously at Itachi.

"What part of, 'I am not the person for this case,' did you not understand when I spoke with you before the meeting?" Sasuke demanded.

To Sasuke's mortification, Itachi sat down in the chair opposite his desk. He crossed his legs and looked at Sasuke with concern. Sasuke's hand twitched outward, itching to throw something at his brother. It was a shame there was nothing in reach to throw.

"You still can't be upset about the fight you two had during high-school," Itachi said. Sasuke glowered. Leave it to Itachi to bring that up.

"Yes," Sasuke lied. He hoped Itachi would leave if he thought that was the only reason.

"I don't believe you. Naruto seems over it. He specifically requested you," Itachi murmured.

Damn Itachi for being able to detect his lies. And damn Naruto. For existing. Even so, Sasuke couldn't help but feel mollified that Naruto had requested him.

"Just leave it alone. Give the case to Neji."

"Naruto requested you," Itachi repeated.

"I don't care." Except he did. Despite everything, it really did feel good to know that Naruto had asked for him specifically. It was foolish, but knowing that Naruto hadn't forgotten him petted and soothed his ego.

"Stop lying."

Sasuke ignored him, not even acknowledging Itachi.

"What's wrong?" Itachi asked.

Sasuke typed away on his computer, doing his best to pretend Itachi wasn't there, wondering why his brother was so concerned in the first place.

"You're not acting like yourself," Itachi pressed. Still, Sasuke didn't respond. Instead, it was getting easier and easier to work on the Suzuki file. During the meeting he hadn't spoken to Naruto, pretending that he didn't recognize the other male. Knowing that Naruto had wanted him to work on it, yet knowing that he wouldn't actually have to deal with Naruto again put his mind at ease.

He leaned back in his chair working out the case in front of him and honestly forgetting for a moment that Itachi was still in the room with him. Sasuke scrolled down the documents on his screen. His eyes darted back and forth before a specific number caught his eye.

"Got it," Sasuke smirked, quickly typing in the needed information before saving his documents and turning off his computer. "I'm heading home for the night," Sasuke said, still not looking at his brother.

"You're finished?" Itachi asked, surprised. It irked Sasuke that his brother doubted his abilities.

Sasuke merely nodded.

"What did you find?" Itachi pressed. Part of Sasuke wanted to say "the solution" to piss Itachi off. The other, more professional part, decided Itachi was asking in his business tone. Sasuke decided to explain his report in full. He hoped it would keep Itachi from asking him any more questions.

"The debtor Suzuki has been trying to collect from miscalculated their sums from the month of March of last year to the month of February this year. They are in fact, owed more than the Suzuki bookkeeper originally tallied. The debtor, Kinowa, really has no case according to their contract. Kinowa's bookkeeper has a separate bank account number entered other than the Suzuki account. It shows that the sum owed to Suzuki _was_ withdrawn but placed into a different account. It is only off one number – an eight instead of a three. But as it's the fifth number in, it's far easier to overlook. And the font makes it difficult to distinguish the eight and three.

"Naturally Kinowa is upset because their records "show" that they have placed the money in Suzuki's account. However, it seems that the debtor really owes Suzuki money because the bookkeeper during those months was actually embezzling it. I will contact Kinowa in the morning and offer our services in retrieving the money from their old accountant. It will bring in the money from the Suzuki case as well as opening services with Kinowa. We'll get double payment," Sasuke explained smugly.

"Excellent work," Itachi said, impressed. Sasuke reveled in the praise. Itachi rarely gave him such words of encouragement. He should therefore have anticipated the next thing out of his brother's mouth. "Now that the file seems settled, you are free to do the Uzumaki case after all."

Sasuke scowled.

"I told you I'm not the person for this case."

"And I told you, Naruto requested you specifically. If you don't do it, he's pulling it from our services."

"You said you would give it to Neji," Sasuke pointed out.

"I lied. I thought you would reconsider. I've already re-scheduled your appointment with Tanaka tomorrow so you can meet with Naruto then," Itachi said as he got up and walked out the door.

"You can't do that!" Sasuke yelled after him.

Itachi didn't answer. Even though he didn't like it, Sasuke knew Itachi really could do whatever he liked. He really hated having his brother as his boss. This case was not going to end well. Sasuke grabbed his briefcase and walked briskly out of the office. The entire drive home he couldn't help but think back to high-school, back to Naruto and the secrets Sasuke had kept buried deep. His face burned in embarrassment at the memories of how much of a self-absorbed teenager he'd been. He wished his memory wasn't so good, especially any dealing with Naruto...

* * *

Sasuke was going to kill Itachi.

His older brother knew he wasn't social, yet he found himself dumped off at some stupid high-school party. There was clearly no parental supervision as he watched an underage girl toss back a cup of sake. He thought she might be in one of his classes, but Sasuke never paid close enough attention to the other people around him to be sure.

Itachi had told him that their parents were worried about his lack of social interaction. Sasuke didn't really care, but Itachi apparently did. Being man-handled into Itachi's car, Sasuke had actually initially been more than happy to get out of his brother's ridiculously expensive car and head into the party, slamming the door behind him.

Sadly, he wished he could leave as soon as he had walked in. This wasn't his thing. He didn't understand why people felt the need to interact and prove their self-worthlessness by getting intoxicated, doing stupid things, and engaging with others of like stupidity.

Like Naruto. Sasuke glared daggers at Naruto who was surrounded by a group of girls, laughing heartily while drinking heavily. Sasuke wasn't surprised to see the idiot there, nor the crowd of girls surrounding him. He was, however, surprised to feel the burn of jealousy as he watched them. It seemed like just yesterday when those girls had been fawning over him. And while he really didn't mind that they weren't paying attention to him now, and while he idly realized three of the girls had indeed tried to ask him out yesterday after their lunch period, he didn't like seeing them around Naruto.

A few people had attempted and failed at getting Sasuke's attention. He moved around slightly, feeling like the wallflower he was until he finally decided to go up the stairs. He wandered aimlessly, wondering whose house it was and how Itachi had known about the party.

The place had quite a few floors, and Sasuke found himself on the fourth floor, hiding away in what appeared to be a spare office. He sat down in a chair and pulled his cell phone from his pocket to play a few games. Itachi told him he had to stay at least two hours. He really was going to kill Itachi.

"You vanished, like a magician!"

Sasuke turned his head to the doorway, surprised to see Naruto standing there, grinning at him stupidly. He didn't respond, but he did slip his cell phone back into his pocket. Naruto walked closer and reached out his hand, running his fingers through Sasuke's hair. Sasuke jerked back, surprised.

"You're pretty," Naruto slurred. Sasuke pushed Naruto away from him, wondering just how much the idiot had had to drink.

"You're drunk," Sasuke stated in disgust.

"Mmm. Feels good," Naruto said as he reached up and ran his fingers through Sasuke's hair again. Sasuke wasn't sure if Naruto meant being drunk felt good or if his hair felt good. "So sexy," Naruto breathed, coming in to press his face flush against Sasuke's.

Sasuke was surprised at the pleasure he felt just touching cheek to cheek with Naruto. Naruto was warm, and the warmth felt good against his cold cheek.

"Get the fuck off me," he snarled.

Sasuke punched Naruto in the gut for good measure. Naruto fell backward, wheezing. He seemed startled before standing up again. Naruto merely grinned at Sasuke and began to laugh. He slung his arm over Sasuke as though Sasuke should find it funny too. Making a disgusted noise, Sasuke tried and failed to dislodge Naruto's arm. What was wrong with the idiot?

"You smell good," Naruto noted as his laugh subsided, breathing in against Sasuke. "And you have a sexy ass."

The admission startled Sasuke. He supposed it shouldn't as Naruto was apparently known for anal sex. He probably noticed everyone's ass. Naruto's arms wrapped fully around Sasuke, his hands roaming shamelessly down Sasuke's back until they groped his cheeks through his pants. Sasuke pushed Naruto away from him again, but Naruto held on tight – to his ass.

The feeling of Naruto's hands caressing him there made him blush, but he couldn't deny it didn't feel good. Naruto's fingers kneading into his cheeks, pressing against him so intimately made Sasuke curious. If what he did to himself felt so amazing, what would it feel like for Naruto who was so experienced to do it to him...?

Sasuke couldn't help it. The images he'd seen on the internet, the whispered thrill and excitement that the girls had gushed over Naruto's experience, and the opportunity that had so easily fallen into his lap...

If Naruto was as drunk as he appeared, he wasn't likely to remember anything in the morning. Besides, the idiot was coming on to him. It was his fault, not Sasuke's. The thrill of doing something forbidden got his adrenaline and his libido pumping.

When Sasuke's arms went limp against Naruto's, Naruto took that as an invitation to keep going. He pressed his mouth hungrily against Sasuke's. It was sloppy and wet, nothing like what Sasuke had expected. Naruto smelled like beer but he tasted like peppermint as though he'd just had a breath mint or lifesaver. It was strange. And still...and still it made him hard feeling the warmth of another's mouth molding against his. The few "girlfriends" he had had been both too shy in their kissing and at the same time far too ready for him to take the lead.

Having Naruto hungrily devouring his mouth, Sasuke found it far easier to press himself back, outdoing Naruto in the process. Meanwhile Sasuke's groin twitched excitedly at the thought of the wet mouth sucking his cock. Sasuke gripped his hands into Naruto's hair, pressing their mouths closer together just as he began to grind his hips into Naruto's.

Naruto moaned into his mouth. It came out low and husky. Sasuke had never imagined sound being erotic, but it coiled through him, making his cock twitch again. It was the desire in the sound that had his desire burning hotter, yearning for more.

Sasuke broke the kiss and wiped the moisture from his mouth. Naruto grinned sheepishly at him before leaning back in. This time his mouth moved quickly over Sasuke's. Sasuke gasped as the kiss turned more forceful. He pressed his body harder against Naruto's as Naruto did the same.

Naruto lifted Sasuke's shirt slightly, his hands running up Sasuke's back. His hands were warm as they massaged their way up Sasuke's body. Naruto kneaded his muscles till the shirt was riding higher on Sasuke's skin. They broke the kiss so Naruto could pull Sasuke's shirt completely off. Sasuke quickly unzipped Naruto's hoodie and pushed the sleeves off his arms. He was momentarily surprised to see the defined muscles underneath. Naruto wasn't wearing a t-shirt like Sasuke had expected, but rather a short-sleeved fishnet shirt. It looked good on him. Sasuke took a moment to admire that Naruto was surprisingly good looking. His blond hair contrasted with the exposed tan skin, his blue eyes lust filled and hazed but still intense. When Naruto wasn't grinning like an idiot, with his eyes focused, his lean muscles nicely defined, Sasuke was surprised to note that Naruto looked similar to him in muscular build. He took his time and admired the similarities between their bodies.

While Sasuke was admiring Naruto's body, Naruto unzipped his pants, sliding them off quickly, revealing he went commando.

Sasuke's eyed Naruto's cock. He licked his lips, expectant. Images from the internet of guys fucking flashed into his mind. He could imagine the way Naruto would sink into him, pressing into him like he did with his own fingers. But this time, this time would be different. He hoped it would be better too.

And with Naruto's warm, wet mouth, Sasuke wanted to try a few of the other things in some of the videos he'd seen. His cock sinking into Naruto's mouth, shutting off Naruto's ability to say anything seemed extremely appealing to Sasuke.

A tan hand came up and stroked through Sasuke's hair tenderly. It surprised him how gentle Naruto could be. He didn't know why he had expected him to be uncouth and rough, but he supposed if all those girls liked what Naruto did, then perhaps it was because he was gentle to some degree. The motions were both soothing yet stimulating, making his cock twitch appreciatively.

Sasuke mimicked Naruto's movements, threading his hands through Naruto's hair, running his fingers gently through the soft locks. Naruto moaned as they stroked each other. Even with Sasuke's hand in his hair, Naruto moved forward, his mouth finding Sasuke's warm skin. Naruto moaned as he latched his mouth onto Sasuke's neck, nipping and licking the spot in bliss. He began to move, sucking from Sasuke's throat down his chest, stopping at Sasuke's nipple. Sasuke gasped as Naruto's hand went from his hair to his other nipple. He put both hands in Naruto's hair as Naruto alternated from teething Sasuke's nipples to pinching them. It was such a weird sensation.

It felt both intimate and forbidden, making it all the more thrilling.

Blushing at the attention, Sasuke moved his hips slightly, rubbing his clothed cock against Naruto's bare skin. Naruto didn't seem in too much of a rush, but it didn't deter Sasuke from continuing to grind into the other male. His mouth lapped at Sasuke hungrily, sometimes swirling his tongue around and playing with the bud or sometimes taking the entire nipple into his mouth, sucking on it.

When Naruto still didn't seem like he was going to move lower any time soon, Sasuke gripped the hair between his hands and tugged. Naruto stumbled from his slightly bent position to look at Sasuke, startled.

"Get on with it," Sasuke growled. He pushed Naruto to his knees. Blue eyes widened, confused, looking at Sasuke's crotch as though he wasn't sure what to do. Sasuke rolled his eyes and unzipped his fly before ridding himself of his boxers and pants in one go. Naruto still looked slightly shocked.

A wave of doubt rolled over Sasuke. Naruto was used to doing girls. He was drunk, so maybe he really didn't know what he was getting into. Just as Sasuke was about to pull away, Naruto's eyes looked up at him, the haze lifting slightly.

"Sasuke..." Naruto husked. His eyes held Sasuke's for a moment before he tentatively wrapped his hand around Sasuke's cock. He gave a few short jerks, slowly. Everything he'd done before had been done with vigor and conviction. Sasuke watched, wide-eyed, as Naruto's mouth hovered over his cock. He looked like he was surveying the best way to approach it before he finally gave a slow lick from the base of Sasuke's cock to the head. After swirling his tongue around the tip for a few moments, he sucked in the whole tip in one go. Naruto gave a few quick sucks. The intensity of pleasure startled Sasuke so much that he pulled back jerkily, pulling his cock from Naruto's mouth.

Swallowing, Sasuke turned his back on Naruto, breathing hard. That had felt a hell of a lot better than he would have expected. He didn't know why Naruto had done that, but he wasn't sure if he could handle too much of that if he wanted to last until Naruto was in him.

The thought was sobering. He was going to let Naruto stick his cock inside him.

Warm hands began to knead Sasuke's cheeks. Sasuke turned his head, watching as Naruto, still on his knees, began to massage his ass with vigor. The hesitancy had faded, leaving him looking completely in control again. Naruto kissed the top of Sasuke's crack with relish, before his tongue darted out and began kissing and licking from his lower back to the inside of his crack.

The warmth and wetness felt good against him, and Sasuke shuddered in pleasure. No wonder all those girls let Naruto do this to them.

As soon as he had thought it, he wished he hadn't. Sasuke's body tightened, imagining Naruto doing this to all those other people. Naruto just liked to fuck around. He liked doing anyone up the ass. Something in Sasuke's chest clenched, and he stepped forward. Naruto made an indignant sound. His drunken co-ordination was severely lacking, and he fell forward, his face bumping into Sasuke's butt cheek.

It made Sasuke feel even more awkward. He stepped further away from Naruto.

_What the hell was he doing?_

Was he just going to satisfy his curiosity with a quick, meaningless fuck? That's all Naruto ever did. He fucked someone once and then that was it. Sasuke wasn't curious enough to have that between them. He tried to quell the jealousy toward all the other people that Naruto had had sex with and the anger at himself for going so far with someone he really didn't like all that much.

Quickly grabbing his boxers and jeans, he stepped into them and pulled them up in one go. His cock had started to deflate, leaving him feeling humiliated that he had thought that this was a good idea. He had almost let _Naruto_, the class clown, fuck him!

"Sasuke," Naruto said. Sasuke stopped, looking behind him to see Naruto staring at him, hurt. He must not get rejected a lot. It wasn't like it mattered who he was. There was always someone else that Naruto could fuck.

The thought that he wasn't important, that it didn't matter who Naruto did, hurt Sasuke. Sasuke deserved someone who was so into him that they couldn't even think about anyone else. And he should want the other person. He continued to get dressed as Naruto stared dumbly at him.

"What're you doing?" Naruto asked, the hurt evident in his voice.

"Leaving, obviously. Are you too stupid to realize this was a mistake?" Sasuke asked, feeling hurt himself. Sasuke couldn't help but feel even angrier at the ridiculously stupid situation.

"Sasuke, wait. Don't go!" Naruto said. Sasuke was half-way out the door before he saw Naruto scrambling to get dressed. Naruto called after him, but Sasuke just kept going. He shook his head, cursing his foolishness. He'd been about to have sex with Naruto in a place where he didn't even know the people who lived in the house. He stalked down the steps, straight through the front door and began walking quickly. Sasuke had heard Naruto call his name again, and he really didn't want to create a scene in front of all those people. His pace quickened and he began to walk faster, darting down different side streets till he wasn't exactly sure where he was. He felt a chill seep through him as the wind hit his heated body.

He slowed his pace until he ended up at an intersection. Looking at the street signs, he pulled his phone from his pocket and called Itachi.

"Pick me up. _Now_." He gave Itachi the street names.

"What happened? Why aren't you where I left you?" Itachi asked.

"Something...went wrong. Just pick me up. Now."

It seemed like an eternity before Itachi pulled up, letting Sasuke in. Sasuke got in the car and stared straight ahead despite knowing that wouldn't stop the interrogation that was coming.

"What happened?" Itachi demanded. Sasuke decided against saying 'nothing' as he had already admitted that something had happened. However, he had only done so that Itachi would come sooner rather than making him wait.

"I don't want to talk about it," Sasuke said angrily.

They were silent for a moment.

"Is that a hickey on your neck?" Itachi asked. Sasuke's hand went up and touched the spot Naruto had been sucking on. His face went cold, and he turned away, feeling shamed.

God, he'd been so stupid.

"If someone hurt you-"

"No, damnit! It just...it didn't go well, okay? Just drop it," Sasuke said, doing his best to calm his hysteria and the panic rising inside him.

It was the first and only time Itachi never pushed an issue.

* * *

**Next Part: Secret Relationship**

Yeah, epic fail at updating. My writing mojo just hasn't been the same recently. That and I've been posting little things on y!gallery. I'll post some of them here on fanfiction dot net.

Anyway – hope you liked the chapter! ~ Jelp


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